I have to admit it! I'm a little down.
And that fact is a little weird because I shouldn't be!
I am swimming longer!
I am running faster!
I am biking _ _ _ _! (well, it's only March and I live in Minnesota)
I am pretty sure that it's just the time of year.
Some people have problems around the Holiday's, not me, it's February and March!
But this year it is also conflict!
My first conflict is conflicting schedules:
I love my work; I love those that I work with as well as the patients that I take care of. For those of you that do not know, I am a neuro critical care RN. It is so intense that sometimes at the end of my shift I am so emotionally exhausted that I hardly know what to do. I am usually not physically exhausted anymore (thank you triathlon) but even that well happen on my 4th day of work in a row in which the previous 3 days were a total of 39 hours of work. We take care of many types of patients but we tend to specialize in a type of hemorrhagic stroke called Subarachnoid hemorrhage!
I couldn't imagine doing anything else and even though I get paid fairly (you could really never get paid enough to be an RN, hence the shortage), I still feel that I am serving people. And I really like that fact. I usually don't express service as a reason since to me serving isn't the same if your advertising (hey, look at me) your service.
Other times, I can imagine doing something else. Finding a job that isn't so exhausting so that I can use my energy and time to serve in other ways. But some of the other reasons are selfish, like having more energy for training!
And then there is my schedule! Every third weekend and 12 hour shifts til 7:30 pm or evening shifts means that I really don't have any training partners. And EVERYTIME there is some triathlon club event or training class it is when I am working.
Hence, the title of my post today! Uno!
I really feel alone with this little part of my world right now.
And really, its not any body's fault! If there is a finger to point, its pointed to myself.
What's most important, is that I have started doing a few things about it.
Just recognizing the problem is a start! I realize part of it is the season, it will be better in another month or so when group swims and rides start up.
I also finally joined the running club at my Lifetime Fitness. Well, I have been joined, the fact that I showed up is the big news. You see, feeling sorry for myself that most running events happen while I'm at work, I let myself just not go. Yesterday, however, I ran with a few people and it was nice. I will join them for some track work on Thursday this week, then see what I can join them with the following week. I am committed to just showing up when I can.
A second conflict has been changes in our blogosphere.
I have changed my priorities when it comes to some of the blogs about triathlon and have focused on you, that is those of us that are about having fun, being friends, encouraging each other as well as learning how to do this thing we call running and triathlon better.
To be continued!